_______’s General Store

Out of respect for the proprietor’s hatred of publicity, I will refrain from dropping his name in this post. Just know that eating at this restaurant is probably one of the most sincere experiences you will ever have in New York City. This guy just does not give a shit, and that is something I can really get down with.

Last month, I had the pleasure of eating there with Chris and my friend Parvoneh. The fact that they were both tourists was a good enough excuse to do crazy shit like wait in an hour-long line for brunch. The wait felt so long that when someone asked me what I was waiting for I forgot for a second. Totally worth it though, and here’s why:

CHEESEBURGER SOUP!

EGGS, BARBEQUE PULLED PORK, TOAST AND MACARONI AND CHEESE!

VEGAN SAUSAGE!

MACARONI AND CHEESE AND BLACKBERRY PANCAKES!

A HUGEASS PUMPKIN SHAKE!

Bam, motherfucker.

Breakfast the Morning After

Ooooh, victory tastes so good. While the Obama campaign did lend itself to the donut-and-bacon combo, that wouldn’t have been enough to keep our hangovers at bay. I wonder, what kind of puppy is Barack going to get the kids? Thanks to you, America, I can spend my morning thinking about the First Puppy rather than mulling over desperate plans to live off the grid. America’s cool again!

My victory breakfast consisted of garlic-and-rosemary fried potatoes, an overeasy egg, locally produced bacon (not pictured) and green onions sauteed in bacon fat. Oh baby!

Also, some additional news: I’ve started contributing to another blog that has absolutely nothing to do with food! On the Freesound blog, you’ll find a series of interviews that I’m doing with bands and musicians on my college campus. If you like my writing here, you might like this stuff? I’m still updating The Kitchen Bitch though, so it’s ok if you don’t care about music so much!

Egg-in-a-basket? Toad-in-a-hole? Popeye Eggs?

I was having an argument with my friends the other day regarding what the proper name for this dish was.  I called it “eggs-in-a-basket,” someone else called it “egg-in-the-hole” and another person called it “eggs-in-a-hat.”  There doesn’t seem to be any other dish that is as challenging to talk about as this one; whenever you bring it up people are going to be wondering what the hell you’ve been smoking, to be calling it such a strange name.  For simplicity’s sake, I’ve decided to start calling it “toastily eggcellent.”  That just about covers all the bases.

 

Toastily Eggcellent

• 1 slice of bread
• 1 egg
• butter

Do I even need to write directions?  It’s pretty straightforward.  Aw hell, why not?

 

Using a glass or something similarly cylindrical, cut out a circle in the slice of bread.  (You can totally use the leftover bread circle to sop up the egg yolk if you’re into that shit.)  Put a little bit of butter in a skillet over medium heat until it gets bubbly.  Throw the bread onto the skillet, let it sit for about 30 seconds and crack the egg into the hole.  Let it chill for a bit, at least until the bottom of the egg is cooked firm.  Flip it over and cook it to your liking.

Potato, Prosciutto and Gruyere Frittata

Yes, I admit it — I’m a Food & Wine fag.  This magazine is the most bougie of the bougie, the epitome of flaunting it when you got it.  Fragments of old issues clutter up my notebooks like a virgin’s pressed flowers, and they each scream out to me, “This is what you could be eating!”  Skimming through these cuttings, I am ashamed.  I could be using the money I spend on luxury goods like truffle butter and goat cheese to… I don’t know, adopt a barefoot Indian child.  But Food & Wine and the culture of haute cuisine beckon me, and I am ambivalently convinced of the art in epicurean pursuits.

 

So here’s a frittata recipe that I found in Food & Wine.  It was beautiful to eat.

 

Potato, Prosciutto and Gruyere Frittata

• 1 dozen large eggs
• 2 tbsp. water
• salt and pepper
• 1 packed cup shredded Gruyere
• 4 oz. prosciutto, sliced 1/4-inch thick
• 1/4 C extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 lb. Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and diced
• 2 scallions, thinly sliced

Preheat the oven to 375°. In a bowl, beat the eggs with the water and season with 3/4 teaspoon of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of pepper. Beat in the Gruyère and prosciutto.

 

Heat the olive oil in a large, nonstick ovenproof skillet. Add the potatoes and cook over moderately high heat, stirring occasionally, until tender and golden brown, about 7 minutes. Add the scallions and cook for 1 minute. Stir the egg mixture and add to the skillet. Stir to distribute the potatoes. Cook until the bottom is just set, about 3 minutes; lift the frittata to allow the uncooked eggs to seep underneath.

 

Bake the frittata for about 10 minutes, until nearly set in the center.

 

Preheat the broiler. Broil the frittata 8 inches from the heat for 1 minute, until the top is just beginning to brown. Cut the frittata into wedges and serve hot or at room temperature.

Horribly Delicious Egg Salad Sandwich

My family really likes to buy eggs. Which is all well and good, save for the fact that they’re rather slow about eating them. This Memorial Day weekend, my mom and sister went off to California and left me alone with a nearly full carton of eggs with a “best by” date of May 14. Hmm.

So I turned on some Wesley Willis and sat in the living room trying to figure out the best way to dispose of 11 eggs without ending up a disillusioned wretch, sadly spooning week-old frittata into my tired maw. But then I realized that you could put all sorts of shit into egg salad, thus extending its welcome by a few more days. Additions like bacon, green olives, capers, jalapeño slices and curry powder work really well with it, and elevate it beyond its tired 50s-era picnic food stereotype. Thank you, 19th Century Anglo-Americans, for your unashamed love affair with covering proteins with mayo!

The following recipe is meant to be flexible; just put in whatever amount feels right to you.

Vague Egg Salad

• eggs, hard-boiled and coarsely chopped
• Hellman’s mayonnaise
• dijon mustard
• salt & pepper
• mustard powder
• chives, chopped into tiny-ish pieces

Combine everything proportionally: I’d say 2.5 parts mayo to 1 part mustard, a healthy dash of S&P and mustard powder, and enough chives to proliferate the whole mixture. Top the whole thing with paprika when you serve it. You can also eat it on a sandwich with cooked bacon, capers, sliced green olives, sliced jalapeños or curry powder. You could try adding cheese, but I think that’s pretty gross.