Cereal Taxonomy

Found at Value Village in Richfield, MN. Currently hanging in my kitchen.

Futurism! Aerofood!

From The Futurist Cookbook:

The diner is served from the right with a plate containing some black olives, fennel hearts and kumquats. From the left he is served with a rectangle made of sandpaper, silk and velvet. The foods must be carried directly to the mouth with the right hand while the left hand lightly and repeatedly strokes the tactile rectangle. In the meantime, the waiters spray the napes of the diners’ necks with a conprofumo of carnations, while from the kitchen comes contemperaneously a violent conrumore of an aeroplane motor and some dismusica by Bach.

GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!!

Our first Futurist dish! Aerofood was the most feasible and least racist of the dishes I could prepare today for an in-class presentation on Futurism and fascism. (By the way, Prof. Rob Lewis is so crazy for letting me do this. Also, sophomore girls loooooove him omg) I had to make do with what I had, however: in place of fennel, I roasted garlic; instead of kumquat, two slices of tangelo dusted with cardamom. I don’t think the volunteers liked the food, but I doubt Marinetti would mind at all. Luckily, I’ve learned that the Futurists were all assholes anyway.

To top off the dish, I plated them on laserdiscs of The Fugitive (here overwritten with “The Futurist”) and had another group member spritz the participants with some perfume diluted with water. I mixed Contrapunctus VIII, performed by Glenn Gould, with the sound of an airplane motor. The whole performance was pretty fun, and the class enjoyed it (I think). Unfortunately, the only impressions I could get from the volunteers was, “Ugh, garlic.”

Fruit Posters by Tingle Fingers

These are too fucking cute. And only $7! Tingle Fingers is a screenprinting group who graduated from my college. They’re cool dudes, so fuck the economy, I think I’ll buy some of these! I especially like the nod to the YouTube kiwi in the kiwi poster.

Early Indian Irish Cake

Last Friday was the Battle of the Bands at my school; a perfect time to make a cake based on a Louis Wain painting! I was supposed to make one for the Salon des Refuses the week before, but I was too drunk and lazy by the time I remembered. This week, I was just plain drunk! We gave the cake to my friend Daniel (pictured above) to cheer him up because he’s kind of crazy right now. And it worked! Hooray for art!

I should confess that I used Betty Crocker cake mix for this one — lame, I know. The most important thing for me was the frosting, which I did make. It was a buttercream frosting that I got from one of my housemates, who credited it to “Julia.” I’m not sure which Julia it is, but I have a good feeling. It turned out to be a great base for the decorations, which involved some strange frosting markers (?!), coconut shreds, pansies that we stole from the Grinnell Community Center’s front yard, sprinkles of various shapes, butterscotch Lifesavers, toothpicks and chocolate chips.

Good likeness, huh?

After the Battle, we shared the cake amongst all of the bands and concerts people. Everyone wins when there’s enough cake to go around!