CrescentMoonFoods.Net, the internet home of Minneapolis’s favorite Afghani bakery/restaurant, is a masterpiece. I love the crazy GIFs, the like Angelfire-era visitor counter, and the prodigious use of Caps Lock. Basically I just love how little of a shit they give about social media, SEO, mobile-friendliness and all of the other hocus pocus bullshit that advertising consultants charge restaurants $50/hr to tell them about. While others may decry the nightmarish web design of restaurant websites run (mostly) by people of color who can’t afford to bring in the advertising big guns, I find them absolutely charming.
Some restaurants feature menu copy that was clearly written by a disgruntled niece or nephew; many others don’t even try to fake it. If you’re turned off from dining at a restaurant because its website is shitty, you are probably a douchebag. And that’s OK! Because I’m sure the owner is glad that you’re not showing up in their dining room to lecture them about stuff they’re too busy to deal with.
Reasons why Crescent Moon Bakery’s website is awesome:
- The owner, Meerwais Azizi, is listed as both the founder and “president” of CMB.
- WARNING: UNIQUE TASTE SENSATIONS
- Clicking on a random empty space (for real!) on the front page will take you to the Muslim prayer schedule for Minneapolis.
- 8 robot gifs!!!
- Links to local food media actually just links to their front pages instead of relevant articles.
- All of the tables are different colors and sizes.
- Only 1 instance of Papyrus.
I love you, Crescent Moon Bakery. Never change.