My family really likes to buy eggs. Which is all well and good, save for the fact that they’re rather slow about eating them. This Memorial Day weekend, my mom and sister went off to California and left me alone with a nearly full carton of eggs with a “best by” date of May 14. Hmm.
So I turned on some Wesley Willis and sat in the living room trying to figure out the best way to dispose of 11 eggs without ending up a disillusioned wretch, sadly spooning week-old frittata into my tired maw. But then I realized that you could put all sorts of shit into egg salad, thus extending its welcome by a few more days. Additions like bacon, green olives, capers, jalapeño slices and curry powder work really well with it, and elevate it beyond its tired 50s-era picnic food stereotype. Thank you, 19th Century Anglo-Americans, for your unashamed love affair with covering proteins with mayo!
The following recipe is meant to be flexible; just put in whatever amount feels right to you.
Vague Egg Salad
- eggs, hard-boiled and coarsely chopped
- Hellman’s mayonnaise
- dijon mustard
- salt & pepper
- mustard powder
- chives, chopped into tiny-ish pieces
Combine everything proportionally: I’d say 2.5 parts mayo to 1 part mustard, a healthy dash of S&P and mustard powder, and enough chives to proliferate the whole mixture. Top the whole thing with paprika when you serve it. You can also eat it on a sandwich with cooked bacon, capers, sliced green olives, sliced jalapeños or curry powder. You could try adding cheese, but I think that’s pretty gross.